Friday, June 4, 2010

A Tribute to Sas

My aunt was a remarkable woman-she always looked glamorous even if she was in jeans and a top and had bouncy black hair and had beautiful brown eyes, and she always smelled so good! I thought she was a striking woman and I think many others did as well. Every year my family would visit her during our spring break and we'd sometimes go during Christmas-depending on whether or not it was her year to come up to CT or our year to go down to Florida...My aunt was basically a second mother to me-she was very stubborn as a person, one of the most stubborn people I've ever known and I definately have a stubborn streak in me so I must have inherited it from her, but my aunt treated my brother and I like her own children, even though she had a son-whose a couple years older than us. She would take us to landmarks in Florida, anything new and exciting that had just opened-you name it, we were there.. took us to our favorite restaurants-I often remember several trips to Outback and Taco Bell-she was always so selfless with us and always wanted to please us by just spending time with us and she wanted to make us happy.

A Few Fun Things About Her:

-she always called me Katrini

-she loved mountain do

-she gave me an appreciation for and a love of David Yurman jewels :)

-she has the best sense of fashion/decorating

-her shitzus-Bow (rip) and Sam adored her..it always made me laugh that my aunt and my mom could talk to the dogs in this sweet, baby voice-my mom sounds exactly like her when she does it and it makes me smile and live in my aunt's memory for a few minutes well my mom does her baby talk to the dog

-she was a great golfer, like my mom

-she had beautiful penmanship & signature... and I'd always save her birthday/greeting cards to look back on

-she introduced my family and i to her famous sausage and cheese strata-which by the way we continue to make every year in her honor and I know she is smiling down at us from heaven

-I've always called my aunt, Sas or Aunt Sas-and not pronounced like Sas like if you were saying (sassy) but with a soft O...apparently some little boy called her that because he couldn't say Sandy or Sandra and it just stuck :)

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She was a preschool teacher for many years at a school downtown in Orlando, Florida and it was such a treat & an honor to go with her to school and assist her for the day. I watched her in awe as I noticed she would get down on the childrens' level in order to make eye contact and engage in conversation, I always thought she was unique in that fact because she really got on the same level with them, in a physical and actual way. Every year when she would come visit us in CT for the summer, it would become a fun adventure to get puppets for her class depending on what animal theme she was working on. I have a fond memory of going into a toy store in my hometown and searching all around the store for props for her classes and just spending time with my aunt and my mom. My aunt raised her son as a single parent for all of the time that I knew her and really did most things with my family-which includes my parents-my mom is her sister, my brother and my grandmother-her mother. My grandmother lives in Florida from September-May and then lives in CT in the summer time so I spent a lot of time in both spots with her.

Tragically, I lost my aunt when I was a sophmore in college (hard to believe that was 6 years ago, feels like just yesterday) and to this day the pain of losing her still hurts deep down. I am fighting back tears as I write this piece and miss her terribly every day. My aunt died from lymphoma... I remember she helped plan my cousin's wedding in Alabama and put so much work into all the details-she had the cutest rehearsal dinner setup and did the tables in black and white gingham and did bright gerber daisies on all of the tables. When my brother and I would start to bicker and fight she was really adamant on all of us getting along and focusing on the wedding. She wanted it to be very special and it was.

Shortly after the wedding, I remember finding out at home in CT (I was a senior in high school ) that she had lymphoma-I went to school and then had a middle school advocate program meeting and was asked by the two leaders if I was okay and I remember bursting into tears about the news of my aunt and running into the ladie's room to cry. My world was shaken and this was the first person in my life to deliver the news that they had cancer and the only person, besides my grandfather (who passed away a few years ago), who I've witnessed leaving this world. My aunt underwent treatments-lost her hair, she had such beautiful wigs I never would have known she didn't have hair..and she never would let us see her without the wigs on so she continued to be the same gorgeous woman to me. She was still alive, fragile and changed forever but I was thankful she continued to stablize herself. She stopped going to her favorite nail salon not too far from her house because of the chemicals and had always fluctuated a lot in her weight-mainly because she loved junk food and wasn't the best cook but when her cancer hit she started eating organically and pretty much introduced me to Whole Foods and natural foods.

I remember when she came up to CT around the time of my mom's birthday in July and when she had her suitcases packed and was ready to head to the airport in my mom's Volvo. We all cried. Her future seemed so uncertain and I didn't know if I'd see her again. Goodbyes with her became very hard.

My aunt was able to stay in remission until March of my sophmore year in college (she had stopped her medication for a short time in October-I think because she was busy helping my cousin and his wife settle down in the area) and then the cancer came back and hit hard and took my aunt away from us forever. I was told over the phone by my father that my aunt has lost her life in the hospital and had been surrounded by her family and friends and had hummed Amazing Grace as she departed. (I'd like to incorporate Grace into my daughter's name someday-hoping that I have a daughter and dedicate part of her name to my aunt). I was going into the health center that day and received a call and my stomach just sank and my dad told me and I just started shaking and crying and I remember a few girls who knew me just hugged me and tried to calm me down. I got on a plane and flew down and was where I needed to be-the church was full of family and friends who loved her greatly and I remember looking around and seeing so many familys/children of all ages gathered too, to show support for a woman who had not only given them education but her heart. She always put everything into all that she did and it showed....

I miss having my aunt in my life, I miss her smile, her hugs, everything about her. I wish she could be at my upcoming wedding and help me pick out things and work on all of the details-I know she would have been tickled to help my mother and I... but I take comfort in knowing she never left my side and is smiling down on me. I wrote this piece today because I was thinking of her and missing her.


I love you forever and always. xxxoo

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